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It sometimes feels like the subtle art of the random bar hook-up has fallen by the wayside in the Age of Tinder, which is pretty much just a bar on the Internet without the fun and the booze. Hit the dancefloor on a Saturday night and shake it to some raunchy old punk and soul classics. When I was growing up, my recently-divorced mother had a group of recently-divorced friends who all used to go out and try to meet men together. In fact, when I went to the bathroom, I came back to find that my seat had already been taken. About ten years ago, Union Pool was the place in the greater Brooklyn area to find no-strings-attached sex and some-strings-attached cocaine.
And so, when I was asked to go to some of New York City's top hookup bars by myself for the sake of this experiment, I took all of those complicated and, frankly, embarrassing feelings along with me. So, scary man-eating cat-mourner that I am, I set off into the night to see what happens when a lady rolls into a hookup bar alone. But somehow, going to bars alone to relax has never made it into my regular rotation.
We went back inside, where his two very friendly married friends told me that Lebowski had been a three-time winner on Jeopardy. Maybe, but we have no reason to be. But for me, a bar still doesn't feel like a place where I can safely be alone with my thoughts. This sprawling Latin restaurant and lounge has good food, drink, music, entertainment, hookah, and maybe even somebody to love, all under one roof. And nowhere does that horrible package deal seem to play out more sharply than when we're alone at the bar.
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Since dark lipstick and oversharing are pretty much my only hobbies, I decided to go back to the smile thing. Sometimes, you want to feel classy, but act trashy. Bars are full of people who are sexually attractive and who are also not your partner.
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Hey, you people thought it was cute when that cat from the Internet had a shitty attitude! If drag shows, sweat-slicked men, and plastic cups overflowing with vodka soothe you, a visit to Therapy will start you on your way to sexual healing. Real estate privilege is hot! But even when it was a regular part of my life, is chili still dating bill I had never really enjoyed doing it.
The number of people you're out with is also a factor. Part of me was able to picture a moment of temporary insanity in which I'd grab Lebowski, pull him into a booth, and ruin my entire life. Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon!
Beer wenches and bros, unite! The Black Rabbit once hosted a speed-dating event aimed exclusively at fans of the Smiths and Morrissey, which should tell you pretty much everything you need to know about it. It's hardly fair to start changing the rules just for me. Also on Stanger's list of no-nos?
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This perma-frown is not because I go through all of my days thinking of nothing but pain, mayhem, legally blind dating sites and Tim Burton. No books or playing around on your cell phone. They had to pay attention to the seemingly millions of couples on sloppy-drunk second dates instead. Embrace your inner seductress when you enter this s Parisian dream.
Strut your stuff, catch his eye, strip down to your swimsuit, and take a sultry dip in the oft-Instagrammed jacuzzi to really heat up that coquetry. There are velvety booths, but also a homemade arcade game called Yo Fight My Mans and erratic art, including red sneakers dangling from the ceiling. The bartender, again, was kinder to me than any bartender I had ever encountered in my life.
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Enter Black Rabbit, a generally spectacular drinking hole that happens to be a great pick-up spot for adults. Start your night with Puerto Rican lasagna and juicy white sangria. Flock to your choice of glittering rooftops, laid back dives, and hot, sweaty dance floors to meet your match. For, you know, whatever you need to do in there. Move to the thrum of the music and revel in a cast of surrounding suitors that you would totally swipe right on.
The bartender certainly seemed to. It's thrilling if you find your table, but if you don't, the urge to just to call the whole thing off and eat lunch alone in the bathroom is overwhelming. Even though I am no longer out on the prowl for fresh peen, when I enter a bar alone, it feels like everyone must assume that I am. And now that I was partnered, I had a hard time imagining what I'd get out of drinking alone.
Metallic, domed hair dryers and original salon-style chairs lined up against a wall make for a hyper-specific retro aesthetic. It's a bar for slightly older indie rockers who may or may not be on mood-stabilizing medication. To show that you're a sexy sex lady who has all of her joints in working order? The sultry, boudoir-like vibes help rank it among your best bets for getting checked out, heroes of newerth and you can check into a room upstairs if things get intimate. Our only complaint about the Jane?
The 10 best hookup bars in NYC
While I had met funny bartenders and chill bartenders in the past, I had never before encountered so many male bartenders who treated me tenderly, like a puppy with its leg in a cast. She hopes they work out better for you. See if anyone talks to you. Like, when you have to pee?
Niagara is located at Avenue A at St. Did people think I was a loser for being here alone? The East Village can be a fucking pickle jar in terms of the number of dudes there on the weekend, but Bar Niagara remains pretty un-bro-y. Alex Erdekian remains single in spite of her escapades. The bathroom nudie art should get you in the mood, too.
15 Best Pickup Bars in NYC For Singles Over 40 - Insider Monkey
The Ballroom is nearly as stunning as the crowd it attracts, with an offbeat tableau of stuffed beasts and mismatched couches. First came the gastropub, an import from Britain featuring upmarket pub grub in an ale-drinking setting. But as I read further about the art of bar approachability, I found that a nude lip gloss would only take me so far. Its jukebox is legendary, as are the bartenders, who are likely to serve up some snark with that Tecate if you start getting rowdy. We even talked, for a second, about the Smiths.
Hot dudes aside, the Levee's got Big Buck Hunter, a dirty unisex bathroom hello and the aforementioned cheese balls, so there's plenty to enjoy even if you're not getting laid. Mood Ring defies expectations. Must they be wondering what's wrong with me? The fact that I had many friends and a boyfriend and had gone here on purpose without any of them didn't seem to ease my nerves.
The 10 Best Hook-Up Bars In NYC
- Take your love life to new heights at this sceney, dreamy rooftop frequented by fashionistas and their kin.
- What the hell was I doing here?
- The ghosts of the koi ponds?
- Get gamey with a pong companion on a weeknight or chat up a stranger at the bar on weekends.
- Union Pool Henry Hargreaves.
- The bartender came over and passed me a drink token.
Within seconds, Lebowski and I were outside, smoking cigarettes and discussing why we had both stayed in the city for Christmas. Bring some friends, for there is safety in numbers here. We women are are told that any male attention is risky, but also that a lack of male attention makes you worthless. Snag a captivating Capricorn, a sexy Scorpio, or a lovely Leo at this astrology-inspired drinkery.
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- Venue says Your week night spot for creative, American dining and speciality cocktails on our heated rooftop.
- We're supposed to accept trading risk for approval, told that these are the rules of going out.
For the thirsty, a dance floor at the back can be hit-or-miss depending on the vibe, but on weekends the main bar area is reliably packed. The pair reportedly gave up on the sports lesson and made out in a corner, instead. We already have this email. So I thought that rolling in here after the anxiety of Joshua Tree would be easy like Sunday morning. Sultry lighting and a robust drink menu, however, take Beauty Bar to the next level, lee donghae making it an alluring destination for those looking to get it on.
Whatever the aphrodisiac, a night out here is guaranteed to get weird, like a strange man biting you on the face weird, and if you will it, you will get laid. The woman closest to me rubbed her huge mane of curly hair across my face by accident as she ordered. May the L train have mercy on our souls. But first, order a plate of pigs in a blanket to really get the party started.
Best Hookup Bars in NYC to Meet People
From dives to cocktail dens and craft-brew havens to wine haunts, here are the best New York bars to visit, by neighborhood. Because Lydia went to bars by herself. This is supposed to be the life of a woman alone at a bar.